Good Material

“You don’t let go once. That’s your first mistake. You say goodbye over a lifetime. You might not have thought about her for ten years, then you’ll hear a song or you’ll walk past somewhere you once went together - something will come to the surface that you’d totally forgotten about. And you say another goodbye. You have to be prepared to let go and let go and let go a thousand times.”

I’ve seen Dolly Alderton’s name around, but I hadn’t ready any of her work until a friend of mine recommended this book. I’m incredibly grateful to them, and thankful for them.

Andy Dawson is a comedian going through a break-up. We follow him for a year post-split, as he navigates single life, dating, finding a new home, sharing friends, nights out, getting in shape, and adjusting to his new, unstable life.

This is a little close-to-home for me, as I went through a break-up of my own last year. I felt that when I’d finished I could close this book and see that it was written by me - if I was a terrifically funny and astute writer, that is. The way Alderton writes about heartache is incredibly well-drawn and relatable. She writes about Andy’s obsession with checking his ex’s Instagram and fabricating outlandish theories about her new life, Andy’s friends, who clearly care for him, but have their own lives to deal with, and there was a poignant quote about new attraction and affection, and how it’ll never be the same, only different. And separate in its distinction. In the end I couldn’t find the quote.

The last chapter flips the perspective to that of Jen, Andy’s counterpoint, and shifts the perception of her from a nebulous, unknowable antagonist to just another person getting trying their best to get through. Like so often in life there are no heroes and no villains. Everybody is just trying their best.

Andy mentions at one point that his last ‘big breakup’ was six years ago when he was 29 - my age. Alderton gives me hope that for all of us there is life after love. There will be more break-ups, more love, more pain, more grist for the mill. More Good Material.